My own worst enemy
Despite my less than perfect childhood and a horribly abusive ex girlfriend, the reality of my life may be that I am my own worst enemy. Is that irony? I may be my worst abuser. The others are long gone and in the past, but I seem to be relentless and unforgiving when it comes to beating myself up. How can you not resent yourself more for that? Perhaps the hardest part of it all is forgiving and loving yourself.
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So when do we start the club? Actually, I started it a long time ago but I was too busy beating myself up to send out the membership cards, design the pins and begin writing the newsletter.
Haha.
I think I even get too busy beating myself up to resent myself. No, seriously.
Very tough indeed to try and learn to forgive yourself regarding it all. It’s bitter medicine that may not always be available at the pharmacy counter. However, if you can find it, grab it as fast as you can.
We all need to try and be a bit easier on ourselves. If we could damn well see straight, we’d realize that everything we’re kicking ourselves for is not so bad or maybe not even our own fault/s at all! Maybe it’s nobody’s fault!
As people have always said to me, “If someone else did the same thing, would you treat them so harshly?”
Bitter medicine, indeed.
@PA
That’s great advice, and I wish I wasn’t so bad at following it.
I do seem to treat people with a lot more respect and compassion than I do myself. I picked up on the fact a while back that I didn’t really care about or love myself. The more I change that the better I get, even if its little baby steps. Most of us have been through enough that we don’t need to be putting ourselves through more.